I Surrender!

Our live seems to be in the huge upheaval right now and daily I am reminded that God is calling me to surrender everything to Him.  Daily, well almost each second, I am falling back on Papa for his strength as I feel so weak these days.  I'm excited for what God is doing in us right now as a family but it's hard to see the big picture right now.  And I hold on tightly to the promises of God and the many confirmations that He gave us to bring us to the spot we are in right now. 

I think the hardest part of it all right now is Steve being gone and feeling like my life is in this holding pattern until he gets here.  I miss him so much.  It's been 3 weeks today.  I know there are so many people that don't have their spouses around them for much longer than that but this is new to me.  But he is in the place that used to be our home and can be with all our friends if he wants and that is hard.  I know his end is just as hard as mine with all the work he is doing and that he is working as fast as he can, but it's still just hard.  I don't like it one bit. 

I miss my friends so much too.  I miss our girls nights out, daily lunches, movies, the chocolate lounge, just hanging out, working out with them, homeschool co-op and so much more.  I hope they keep in touch with me and that the distance between us right now doesn't hinder those relationships.  I miss how comfortable we are with each other and reaching out to make new friends is hard sometimes when all I want to do is go "home". 

I'm excited for what God is doing in our lives right now and I need to be able to see the adventure in it all but sometimes it's hard.  I"m so thankful that God knew that I needed to be able to fall back on His promises and His faithfulness of how He worked to bring us to where we are now because I remind myself of it all daily.  I'm happy that we have a God that always finishes our story and never leaves us hanging.  I may not be able to see the big picture right now but He does and that is all I need to know even when it's hard.  I hold tightly onto what He has shown us and trust Him for the rest whenever that will be. 

Today I surrender!  I surrender my hopes, my dreams, my wants, my desires and I fall on His grace to see me through becasue I know He is good.  Thank you Papa for bringing me to the spot I am in today, even when it's hard; especially when it's hard.