In the past few months God has really been speaking to me about that phrase and showing me what it means in my life. For at least the past 4 or 5 years I have been living for the next event, the next teaching gig, the next trade show, the next big thing and in that forgetting to live in the daily moment. I work well under pressure and I thrive in working hard and that isn't a bad thing but when you look back on your life and see all the little things you have put on the side, it is kind of sad. I don't know what it's like to just be in the moment right now. What does that look like?
I realized a little bit before this event we just did that it would be our last event that we had planned and last business venture we had planned. And it kinda of scared me. When you live your life for the next thing and there is no next thing, what is it going to look like? It's the crazy sense of freedom that I really don't know what to do with! Sad but true. There always seems to be something to push myself to complete and right now there is nothing in my immediate path to focus on. I seriously feel like I am on the edge of a cliff with such new possibilities and need to just take that step off and just fly. The hard part if fly to what, nothing! To look out and see nothing is a little scary, exciting too but right now I thing more scary.
We have worked at the business side of things for so long and with this last event under our belts there is actually a break now. There is another event taking place, but not for another year for now so that doesn't have to even be touched for quite awhile. I really don't know what our plans are for the business part right now but just that there really isn't any plans. Strange!
Right now I am going to focus on the now and living in the now. To enjoy the little moments that I have not really taken part in because of living for that next big thing. I'm going to focus on things I need to do for me. Get back in step with working out and eating right. How many times have I said I would do something but not until the next big thing/event was over? Get back in step with our homeschooling that I know I haven't put my all into. Of course Kiersten hasn't minded that too much but she is in for a big surprise very soon!
I'm just praying that God would show me how to live in the moment and what that looks like for me. I don't want things to pass me by or be put on hold anymore. This song is speaking volumes to my heart these days and speaks to right where I feel I am at. I just want to fly!
5 comments:
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Heather, Your post spoke to me this morning. I often find myself overlooking the little things and not enjoying the everyday moments that really do matter. I will be 40 this year and I've wondered lately where my life is headed? I am a Christian, wife and mother of 2. So, I know those things about my life will stay constant. But my job just seems to consume me & keeps me focusing on all I have to do & I hate that. I don't know how to leave work at work - I come home & worry, thinking of all that needs to be done & focusing on the next meeting I have to plan for, etc. So, while it's not exactly your situation - I can identify with what you are saying. (I certainly could use more focus on eating healthier and exercising too!) Anyway, sorry to ramble - I just wanted to say thanks for your post & you are not alone. I'm not really sure what to do about it or how to change it except to pray.
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You know. . . when we talked about this the other night (which still makes me giddy). . ..sorry!
Anyway, when we talked about this the other night, I realized that my life is a continual cycle of "events" because of my job. Every week is working toward the upcoming Sunday.
On the one hand, there's some security in that -- on the other -- it's a continual battle to always be "on" and know that there's not an end, but a pause. But on the other hand -- I never feel like I get to STOP.
I'm trying to take time, on days like today (home with a sick little girl) to slow the pace down, and relish those few, quiet moments.
I blogged last night about the same thing (kinda) and the "pressure" to always have a super clean house when my kids are growing up so fast I can barely breathe.
You touched on a lot of that in this post -- you probably subliminally wrote my post last night when we talked about stuff on Sunday.
(...and there I go -- I'm grinning again!)
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Hugs to you precious friend. Praying you will see the many beautiful new things that God has in your path as you slow down and enjoy the moments.
Thank you for sharing this. I know it can be so easy to look to the next thing and life is not made up of big events, but many, many small ones.
((((Heather))))
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I really needed to read this today .... I'm SO bad about doing this very thing. Thanks so much for sharing!
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Now I am singing "I Just Want to Fly!" ONly problem is I only know a few words and it's on constant loop! :) great post- as I told you this weekend I will be praying for you- sometimes in the peace we finally *hear* what He wants us to....