Starting the Journey...

I have been wanting to blog about this but just haven't taken the time to sit down and do it.  Not to mention that it's one of those places that I have struggled with for almost a lifetime and sometimes it's hard to put all that down in writing.  There are so many emotions attached to it.  The "it" I am refering to is my struggle with my weight.  I have never been a skinny girl and have had body issues for as long as I can remember.  I have tried SO many ways to loose weight, some good and many bad, and nothing has ever really clicked for me.  I even tried just being happy being who I am and where I was and that didn't work because I knew in my heart that I wasnt really happy being that person. 

Like many people, I watch the Biggest Loser and sit there saying to myself that one day I will do that for me.  But season after season I did nothing after the finale but wait for the next show to premiere.  I finally had a "aha" moment during this last show that got me off the couch and serious about doing something.  It was after I saw Tracey come back and run the mile she couldn't after the season opener and how good she looked.  I sat there thinking "dang if she can do it I can too!"  I didn't like her at all on the show and sad to say that motivated me some!  But it was more than that too.  There were many "aha" little moments that led up to that one and that one just topped it off for me. 

So I decided to start using that gym membership that my husband got us about a year ago along with the personal trainer we had already paid for.  Going to the gym was pretty hard at first thinking all the eyes were on me as I walked in.  But I quickly got over that and know that really isn't the case.  Now I go 5 days a week and sometimes more and I can actually say that I like it!  I never thought those words would come out of my mouth!  Really!  And I meet with the personal trainer once a week right now.  I'm getting ready to meet with a new one soon and am looking forward to that.  I like how I feel after I have worked out and know that I am doing something good for my body and the results are starting to show.

The best part about all this is that I am starting to like the clothes I am wearing!  I hate shopping and especially when I have to shop in the large woman's section.  It's not that fun when all you want to do is cut the tag out of your clothes because you can't even face the size on it!  I had a very happy day last week when I went into the regular department at Target for a pair of jeans and actually was down a size from what I took into the dressing room so had to go back and get a smaller size.  You  bet I did a funny little happy dance in that dressing room!  This has been a huge motivation for me in the last couple of weeks and I am really liking shopping these days! 

I had been doing Weight Watchers and wasn't seeing the results that I wanted so decided to stop that and start the Biggest Loser online program.  I really like that!  I am eating more food and loosing more weight and that is a good result.  This is a life change for me and not just a diet "program".  I have done those types of things and they never stick.  Yes you may get some good results but that isn't anything that will be lasting.  I am eating lots of good fruits and veggies, organic meats, and concentrating on the amount of calories and that is working great.  Something that I can make a lifestyle. 

So this the yet another begining to this journey I have been on for some time, but one that I feel stronger and more passionate about than ever before.  Something has definitely clicked in me this time and I'm running with it!